


drink your fill, oh my lover

by ThisJoyAndI



Category: Nashville (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post 4x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4956925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisJoyAndI/pseuds/ThisJoyAndI
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(cause our days here are numbered)<br/>Juliette leaves again, and Avery struggles to make sense of it all. 'The mid-morning sun is creeping lazily through the open curtains, Cadence is growing faster than he’d like, and Avery supposes he’s happy. As happy as he can be without Juliette, because no matter how much he tries not to, he thinks he will always love her.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	drink your fill, oh my lover

Three weeks have gone by, twenty-one days in which he’s heard nothing at all from his wife or her team, when he hears the song playing on the radio. He’s washing the dishes from breakfast, Cadence gurgling as she lies on her play mat in the living room, and Gunnar’s off at some meeting, trying to condense the tour from fifty dates, despite Scarlet’s declarations that’s she’s fine, that's she's good to go on tour so soon after her mother's death. Gunnar thinks otherwise, but he’ll be unsuccessful in trying to convince Noel, Avery knows this, because ‘The Exes’ have become too popular to remove tour dates at the last minute. Still, it’s admirable what Gunnar will do anything to try and make sure Scarlett’s okay. After all, no one wants a repeat of what happened the last time she embarked on an extensive tour, something even Gunnar and Caleb are in agreeance upon.  

Gunnar would move heaven and earth if Scarlett asked him, and Avery supposes it’s much the same with him and Juliette.

Only Scarlett would never up and leave without a word, would never dispose of her phone, would never make it so her husband could never get in contact with her. He knows it had been a stupid move to suggest accompanying Juliette on the rest of her tour, knew as soon as the words fell out of his mouth that he was an idiot for making a suggestion, when he’d just gotten his wife back, when Cadence had just seen her mother for the first time in a month. But he’d never had a chance to take it back, because Juliette was gone, almost as if she had never been there.

He rinses a glass half-heartedly, flicking on the radio with a soapy finger. The mid-morning sun is creeping lazily through the open curtains, Cadence is growing faster than he’d like, and Avery supposes he’s happy. As happy as he can be without Juliette, because no matter how much he tries not to, he thinks he will always love her.  

He’d considered (hell, he's _still_ considering) signing the divorce papers, sending them to Juliette purely out of spite, just to see if she would sign them herself. But he’d told his mother that he wasn’t given up on his marriage, on his wife, and signing the divorce papers seemed too much like an easy copout. And besides, there’s Cadence to think about now, so he doesn’t sign the papers, merely shoves them at the back of a drawer, and tries to forget that Juliette’s left them yet again.

Filling Gunnar's house with noise helps, but this particular radio announcer is far too chirpy for his liking, and he almost reaches over to change the channel, when he hears it, the open chords to her song. To their song. “Juliette Barnes’ newest single, you’re hearing it here first folks!” the announcer exclaims.

Her newest single. _Their_ song is her newest single, a song that they’d written together late one night, Cadence’s kicks keeping Juliette awake and Juliette herself keeping him awake, his eyes bleary but his heart happy, a wedding ring on his finger. He stands still as if in shock, his hand dangling in mid-air above the soapy dish water.

 _How dare she release it, how dare she_. That is the only thought his mind can seemingly produce right now, Avery sucking in a shaky breath and wiping his hand roughly on his shirt. A now dry hand idly turns the sound up, as he hears his voice on the radio for the first time in years. He’s somewhat angry at Juliette, because like always, she seemingly didn’t stop to consider his feelings before releasing the song. He burnt his Masters for christ's sakes, burnt the prospect of a bright future as easily as he could burn toast, and now here his wife is, releasing a song that has him singing on it without a second thought. He’s been terrified to record a song since he cut ties with Marilyn and Dominic, preferring to work behind the scenes and play small gigs here and there whenever he could. Even the thought of one day recording an album with Scarlett and Gunnar had terrified him, and honestly, he would have been happy never again hearing himself on the radio.

So he's angry, but he can’t stay mad, because Cadence gurgles louder at the sound of their song. He glimpses at his daughter, the blonde hair and green eyes so reminiscent of Juliette. It makes his heart pang to look at her, to see her grow without her mother, but that is the way things are, the way they look likely to stay, despite his best efforts to change them.

Is this, releasing their song, another of Juliette’s attempts to reach out to him, by releasing a song he’d thought she’d scrapped from the album, claiming that it was too personal to share? Or, he thinks cynically, propping his head up on his hands and letting the music wash over him, is this yet another publicity stunt, a way of letting the press know that even though she’s on tour, even though she’s so far away, she is still committed to her husband and daughter, to her family, every inch the perfect country superstar? He scoffs at the thought, because where has she been for the last few weeks, the last few months, when Cadence cries at night, when their daughter needs feeding, when he needs someone beside him to help him shoulder the burden? Gunnar’s been nice enough to let him crash at his place free of charge, and Scarlett and Emily help out with Cadence whenever they can, but Cadence is his daughter, their daughter, and it’s up to he and Juliette to raise her, not their friends.

But Juliette isn’t even contactable, let alone here to help him. He would have been happy to let him go back on tour, finish up promoting her album, if only she’d let him explain, let him try and reserve the damage his words on the red carpet had seemingly done. He doesn’t want her home with him chained to the kitchen, to the nursery, because he knows she’d never thrive if he forced her to do such a thing. He'd never force her to do anything. All he wants is for her to be happy, and for her to find a way to balance what makes her happy with what she needs to do, if not for him, then at least for their daughter. If not, what was all the struggling to get back together and move past their mistakes even for? Cadence needs her mother, and goddamnit, he needs his wife.

And now their song is playing on the radio, their daughter seemingly mesmerised by the sound. He moves away from the sink to crouch beside her, taking her tiny feet in his hand and moving her legs to the sound. “Is that your mama?” he asks her, grinning as she gurgles. She’s as beautiful as Juliette is, and she owns just as much of his heart as her mother does – if not more. “Is that your mama singing on the radio?”

Cadence adores the sound of Juliette’s voice. She always has, kicking especially vigorously whenever Juliette would hum a melody under her breath, determined that if she couldn’t record whilst pregnant she could at least finalise the tracks due to go on her next album. And then when she was born, mere hours after he rushed to the hospital and made it just in time, their daughter had looked at him and blinked as Juliette sang to her, as if to say, _how_ talented is my mama? And thanks to Emily's discovery, he now knows that only the sound of Juliette’s lullaby will soothe her when she’s especially cranky, Cadence possessing a set of lungs to rival even her mother's. The sound of Juliette’s voice makes him at first so furious and then so very sad, but he’s had to learnt to push his feelings aside for the sake of their daughter and the pursuit of uninterrupted sleep.

“That’s your mama and your daddy singing,” he murmurs, leaning forward to blow a raspberry on Cadence’s stomach. She kicks her legs in protest, and Avery finds himself singing along to the song as it plays, the rise and fall of the music almost hypnotic. He remembers recording it like it were only yesterday, Cadence in the care of Emily for the afternoon and Juliette beaming sideways at him as they sang.

“ _I can never do this without you, an open sky without the blue,_ ” he sings, and god it’s ironic how that lyric rings true. They’d written the song with the past in mind, certain that the struggles and obstacles they’d had to work past were all gone, sickeningly smug in their happiness. If only they’d know what was to come, he thinks.

It’s been months since that day, and now, he only wishes that Juliette were here to sing with him, because if Cadence’s enthusiasm at her mother’s records are any indication, their daughter would be ecstatic to hear her mother singing, without accompaniment, just for her.

He’d protested when Juliette demanded he sing alongside her on the track, demanded that they make it a duet, because this album was supposed to be about her re-establishing herself, not about him. She’d merely looked at him and told him that if she couldn’t record a song with her damn husband, well then she’d better quit the industry altogether.

How he misses such moments now, lying alone in a bed that’s unfamiliar to him after spending so many months in Juliette’s, his wife somewhere on the other side of the country avoiding her family. 

The song ends as suddenly as it started, the guitar fading away and the announcer’s voice taking its place. “What a fantastic song, _oh my god_!” she cries out, and Avery nearly rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Cadence. His daughter merely blinks in response. “I have to say, marriage and motherhood really do suit Juliette Barnes, because honestly, she’s never been hotter than she is right now. And this song, featuring Juliette’s husband Avery Barkley, is just so moving! It’s sure to be a massive hit!”

“Marriage and motherhood,” Avery repeats, scooping Cadence up into his arms. He swears she’s heavier than she was the day before, but Gunnar and Will never seem to notice. He rocks her gently against him, Cadence’s fingers trailing down his arm to grasp at his wedding ring, the metal cool against her skin. “If only they knew the truth, hey.”

He switches the radio off, pulling the plug out of the sink with his free hand, Cadence pushing her face into his shoulder.  “You tired, baby girl?” he questions, running a hand down her back soothingly. Avery rocks back and forth on his feet in Gunnar’s kitchen for a few moments, before turning and making his way up the stairs, Cadence curling her hands into little fists. He smiles softly down at her blonde head. 

Cadence falls asleep to the sound of Juliette’s voice, Avery settling himself on the made bed beside her borrowed crib, a relic from Rayna’s house, with a book, the words almost incomprehensible as he waits for his daughter to settle. When he’s certain she’s asleep, and not likely to wake up for another hour or so, he retrieves his phone and switches the lullaby off, wondering if he should check Juliette’s twitter, try and message her. But before he can click on the app, his phone buzzes with a text message, one he furrows his brow at.

_I’m sorry._

The number is one he doesn’t recognise, and he almost dismisses the text as a mistake, until he thinks – _Juliette?_ Heart racing, he almost falls off the bed in his haste to sit upright, fingers fumbling as he calls the number, mouth dry.

And then he curses, loudly and colourfully, thankful that Cadence is asleep as he slams a closed fist into his mattress. 

Disconnected. 

Avery falls back with a shaky exhale, throwing his phone away from him. It lands with a dull thud at the end of the bed, and he thinks, Juliette, you might be sorry, but so am I.  

Tears fall out of his eyes without his knowledge, his daughter soundly sleeping as he cries and his wife keeps run, run, running. 

**Author's Note:**

> @ Nashville, can you just let Juliette & Avery be happy for once, PLEASE?! 
> 
> Love, a fan who just wants Juliette to seek some help and reunite with her family for realises, because this angst is getting too painful to bear.


End file.
